Oh, I have risen high and been driven low. Seen men laugh the hell of winter in warehouse factories, smoke circles huddled to keep warm in the frost of poverty and nicotine snow. Stale gas station bread and piss poor coffee for piss poor patrons in piss poor jobs stuck in dead end wages. Together, strangely, in more than a word. Exhaustion does strange things to quiet the soul and make a family out of shared misery. Leonard made coffee cakes on Fridays. We ciphered cigarette breaks while Cassandra played lookout for the forman. Hank didn’t say much.
Oh, I have risen high and been driven low. Broke bread and summer nights with Yale graduates, yuppies who migrated to Washington Heights when even they were too broke for SoHo. Thirsty Thursdays and 5K Marches for whatever was popular at the moment. Empty nights full of cocktails on rooftops that overlook Manhattan and sympathy. Overseas relief efforts in LoFi filters, hashtagged humanitarianism at its worse. Intellectuals that are only in it for themselves.
Oh, I have risen high and been driven low. Met the greatest and worst minds of our generation, found little difference in both. The vagabond desperate to make his ends meet, and the conglomerate tied in a knot of vanity and himself. Where is the lesson? What is there to learn from these peaks of top and bottom? Nothing.
Life is a but a poor struggle, or a rich one.
Silence is golden, duct tape
is silver. Rope, a deep mahogany.
The trunk is black, your heart
a cold and frigid
Keep a bottle near me in case she kisses me and goes to sleep. Honey has a horribly twisted love in her lips I can’t resist, bent with a hand on her hip and pride. Dried tears and warm beers because we danced too much and forgot about them, Fingerprints on my lips ear, last place she touched or thought of me.
The opposite of amnesia comes between us and sunlight is the enemy. Forever severed by the sound of last call. What are we now? Two souls lost in pizza slices and where we wished we could be. Anybody but you, anywhere but here. Whispers and french cheeses. Coney Island kisses and a game prize.
Hold me like you don’t mean it because baby it’s cold. She shivers and I’m frozen. My floor creeks and her bed leans into us like a depression.
I don’t know how to talk to you, and although I’d like to.
texting at this hour might not help that effort,
but, I’ve got midnight in my blood and its the only time
I feel like being honest. The moon must hold some magic
over me. I should be in bed
rather than emptying the bottles of my emotions.
But that’s tomorrows problems. For now,
I’ll stand still under Mercury,
counting stars that don’t appear
above my empty city, say a little prayer
and ask Hermes for deliverance
I’ll ask: is it better with your father yet?
Have you had vegetables today?
When was the last time you read your palm
and saw a future instead of long and
useless lines? Are we still friends?
Do you even care? Who warms your bed and stokes
your hair? Do I sound jealous? Should I not be?
Why does it feel like I’m questioning air?
Did you know that I will always love you,
and that your name carries a weight
my heart can never ever shed?
No respite in highway lines,
only long and lonely roads.
Weals burn frostbit hearts cold,
when love is warm,
and yet the stars
do not align.